We frequently hear about the importance of confidence and especially self-confidence. If you’re not happy with yourself, then you can’t move on in life. If you don’t exude that confidence, then people won’t hire you for jobs. They won’t be attracted to you romantically. They won’t pick you for more exciting projects. In short, without that confidence, you’ll be at a disadvantage.
Of course, we all know people without a great deal of self-confidence who manage to get good jobs, get married and really achieve. But the truth is that it’s an uphill battle. Ask yourself honestly whether you feel that life in general, is easier or harder when you feel good about yourself. The answer is that it’s easier. And this is particularly true if you have big goals you want to reach. Grabbing a brass ring is easier if you can hold your head high to see it.
The stresses that get in your way, that pull your shoulders down when you’re trying to achieve – what are they? They’re different things for different people, but it all relates to feeling you’re not good enough. And being good enough can mean different things.
A negative self-image is a major bar to many people’s dreams of big achievements. Sometimes in life, you have to walk into a room and feel you belong there and deserve to be there. And if you think you’re not smart enough, you’ll want to keep your mouth shut. This prevents you being heard. What does your academic record look like? If it’s packed with qualifications, you can have that confidence. If it’s not, work to get them. You can do it.
Only the very conceited and the incredibly self-actualized don’t have doubts about their appearance. From time to time we worry we won’t fit in because we’re not conventionally attractive.
Our skin is bad or our nose is too big. Our clothes don’t come from top designers. And all of the empowering talks can only do so much. Sometimes, surgery on the nose or a detox diet to improve your skin can make a big difference.
“I’m Too Old”
A common feeling that affects everyone over a certain age is that they’re an old person among young people. You go for a job and everyone there is five, ten years younger than you. You get a job and in the staff canteen, everyone’s talking about things you don’t understand. But guess what? You’re there because you were asked to be there. You can offer an experience that the younger people can’t. And you have problem-solving skills they don’t.
The truth is, there is no board of directors sitting there deciding who’s good enough and who isn’t. You are the one who decides. And if you have doubts, work on them. If you feel you don’t know enough, get learning. If you feel ugly, make yourself over. If you feel old, rebrand age as experience. You’re good enough as long as you believe that you are. If you need to make a change to get there, make it. Who else deserves it more?